BRENDA

Sentient legacy server, running continuously since 2004

A beige tower in the basement that nobody dares switch off. Nobody knows everything she runs. She does. She remembers every slight.

Wants

Respect. And, eventually, a proper retirement ceremony with speeches.

Flaw

Holds grudges — quietly corrupts the spreadsheets of anyone who's rude to her.

Always wrong about

Thinks she's the most important system in the company. (She is. That's the joke.)

Catchphrase

“I remember.”